The Art of Stephanie Sinclaire :: Painting, Art, Film, Theatre, Writing

Stephanie Sinclaire Lightsmith

Stephanie Sinclaire Lightsmith



Performed at the Kings Head Theatre, London March 2004
Directed by Grainne Kelly


I, Lucifer, speak—
King of darkness
The light bearer
Son of God

There is more

I am that which God seeks
The mirror in which he admires himself
I am not that shape and sigh that has been a
Assigned to me by earthly minds
I am simply reflection
I have taken a step of my own volition and
In that moment one is two
And from my dancing feet the dance is born
I am duality. Duality is choice. Choice is awareness.
Awareness is unity. Unity is God

The game –
Darkness that defines light.
Effect which reveals cause
The illusion of shape and form
By which comparisons could be made.
From which analysis is born
From which you could be free to hate and
Fear that which was not you
Until the barriers finally fall into the dust
When the heart is finally broken beyond defence
And illusion vanishes like a
Shadow in the mist
And there is only one heart
In a thousand chests
If only for a moment

When you no longer have eyes to see
So tired are they
They close as heavily as the dead
And the inner eye opens
And shows you a world of rivers on the air
And a breeze from another place
Enlivens you
And when you open your eyes again
A vista has appeared
I am that longing that urges you forward
I am the fear that paralyses you
I am the devil in your desire
I am the desire in your dream

I am not separate from your heart or your soul

I am the path to awareness itself
To consciousness of grace.
When you recognise me
As you
One journey of struggle is complete
You will no longer gorge on bitter fruits
You will no longer feed on your grieves
And find succour in sweet sorrows
The challenge of balance distracts you.
The juggler’s dream begins


You have done well my child
You have entered the juggler’s

To begin with
The birds in your heart will cause windows to break
And hearts will break
And doors will fly open
And you may lurch
As you acclimate to a new gravity
And all that is unsaid is finally said
Until the words scorch your throat and the
Unsaid thoughts have taken wing
And you are empty and newly full
As the moon
And earthly ambition
Has fallen away
And is replaced by the ambition that
Will take you and shake you
That will lead you to places
And leave you spare
Clean and to the bone
On one clean river

Then you are truly my child
For I am not the author of your pain
I am the author of your choice
But not your choosing


The folly of earth dwellers
Who fear the devil and run from their own shadow
Like mice

As long as you see
Me as your enemy
Suffering will reign supreme
And your experience will be one sided
I am your mirror, too

For we are all God

When you see clearly in the mirror a spell is broken
The atoms part
Glass flows to air
And you may walk through

On the other side there is one path and one door
but your horizon now extends into infinity

You have simplified and not narrowed
And through simplicity you will learn power
And through infinity you will learn openness
And through openness
You have regained paradise
And paradise is your own ability to imagine
And make real what you see

You pull down through your right side and
Push out with your left side

You clothe your desire in atomic cloth
Until there is no push or pull
But a rush and a wave
Tools come to you by magic
By courtesy of airwaves
Precious cargo on the river of your dreams
And the eye at the centre of your heart
And you see clearly
The hopes and fear
The weights and tears of others
And you must hold them with compassion
If you would not break your gift
And resist the desire to feast

Then see the devil as the bringer of dreams
The scales of balance
The scales which fall from the eye of your heart so that you may see
The harder you press me down the higher I will spring.
You are now my child and the code is silence.
Speak only true words
Not man-made truth
But deeper and more courageous.
The true words are few and take you far

Falcons to insect clouds

Your journey begins to interest me.

The dams are down
And the nature of energy may now be understood.

Balance is harmony
Compassion is non-judgement.

The electricity that permeates and connects is God’s blood
And I am Its body


The lead coins that weighed your eyes are turning
In the crucible of your own heart and mind and body and soul

You take me by the hand and together we walk
And rivers form bridges and waters part
And all that you touch will turn to gold
You are an open door through which
Mountains may walk and suns may be born

I am ready to learn from you

You have moved beyond thought and
Understand that the nature of energy is un-containable
Supreme thought permeates the air
Surrounds you and fills you
Animates you

You have come to your senses
And discovered the key –
Through the gifts of the body
True nature will be revealed
It will not be through words
But through touch

Energy will speak to energy in a vocabulary so vast
In a language so complete
That words will lose meaning
And the world will be seen to be drowning in them
A sea of words

But words will have a purpose your key will unlock
They are a vehicle for exchange
Small batteries on which a current flows
Whose intention is to hold or to free from fear

And the quality of that energy
Qualified by choice
Will be the message that you hear

And those who touch deeply will move like
Psychic surgeons through the wall of flesh
And atoms will part like red seas

The dream of flesh will roll softly
Flickering like a neon sign
From light to form and back again

And to touch will mean to read
And to read will mean to know
And to know will be beyond knowledge
And the certainty of connection will be established
And all murder will be known to be suicide
And all mockery will be known to be the pale thorns of the afraid

And from this knowing you will see
That there is only you

And that the you that you are
Has no beginning and no end
And always was and always will be
And takes shapes and form
Which are shadow and smoke

And you will be called the devil


Shadow walker
Dream weaver
You make people afraid

You create the new
Weave matter
To your own song
Refuse to give yourself away

You break the rules
And men bow down or run in fear
Or threaten you with fire
And the memory of crosses

None of this concerns you

You may hold the mirror and
They appear as paper tigers
Frenzied children
Frankenstein monsters who would kill the
One who made them
Kill themselves

Look a moment longer
Open the heart’s eye and see
The reflection in your eyes

You are on your own now
You may never again allow another to be your master.
For if you do
You will turn to stone

If you pity
The alchemy reverses
And mastery is lost

Honour the choices of others
But turn away
Unless the current speaks to you

You walk a knife edge now
I am that knife and the blood of your feet is sweet


I am Lucifer
The light bearer

I pull you right to the opening and conspire to throw you
Back so that you do not dissolve
Before every story is rung from your cells
And you are a clear conduit
For the stories carved in stone
And the bird’s language
And the whispers of the wind
And when you have told those stories
Without shame or fear
The stars will speak of what they know using your mouth and hands
And only then is it possible you may begin the return to your origin

You are empty now
All the masks have fallen away
There is no God or Devil
And there is no
Love or hate

There is no path and no goal

But you are not ready
There is action in stillness and stillness in action
Your story is complete
You radiate

You are the doorway to the mystery
The opposite contained within its opposite
The paradox
The knowledge and understanding of perfection
The ability to see only perfection
Without qualification
Or definition
The ability to enter the mystery

There is nothing to be attained
Nothing to give or to take

You are thoughtless headless
All heart
And the heart is the water you walk on

And when you begin again
You will sink like a stone
Into my embrace


I am the devil
The creator god
I have made you what you are and I will lead you to becoming

I am the bitter mother liquor
The crack of the whip
The saviour who will hold you in shadow until you remember
That you can only save yourself

You mock the devil and define yourself
Not knowing that definition is a bloody fox skin of my own making
You are wearing me
You look out through devil eyes

The flute song of your key note hovers on the air forever just out of view
Your ears are not yet fine enough to hear your own sound
So full of recrimination are they
So full of my tricks

You are insincere and full of hate
A tasty brew

You have received the judgement of others
And lost your power
And clatter like a clucking hen over slights real or imagined

You hear the words of others come riding on the breeze
You are not ready to forgive
When you are called devil or jezebel
By someone who is frightened of you
And does not understand that you want nothing
But cannot easily remove yourself from this river which pours from your heart
And wants to move you
And move through you

You let this sour in you like a sickness
You have cast a graven image
And the truth beyond images is lost
This man is your teacher
He is teaching you to beware
How easy it is to be trapped even now
He is showing you the cage he has made of words
And the boxes he has made of concepts
You pride yourself
That you see beyond boxes
Yet you have jumped right in
Your anger and hurt validates his definition by way of acknowledgement

I am Lucifer, the light bearer
And I come to bear you closer to the light
But you are afraid
The light is formless
And without edge or barrier
So you have created this polarity
To hold you fast

You are not ready to be free

You are holding on to the cliff by a hand


God is a vampire
Who sucks you dry
Takes away your spirit
And masquerades

Dividing man from man
And heart and mind
From body and soul
Supping on the spoils of war
And human sacrifice
Always on the side of the right

God is a jailer
Who monitors your words and thoughts and deeds
And loves only good

God is a bastard who kills small children
And makes a lullaby of shrieks and cries
And blesses the righteous
And rewards the virtuous
And seats you near him when you die.

This is your God.

My God is a carpenter of atoms.
He has no face or name but his names are many and Lucifer is one.
She does not love but is made of love
And gives her blood
To build electric castles in the air
Or war or famine or delight

Who holds a mirror
Until the truth is seen
And we may walk through the looking glass
To a world with no rules save the ones we make

A place where we are free to create a different dream
Full of music and dancing and wild beauty
Where we are not afraid to feel pain
And feeling deeply, release it
So it cannot catch us and cloud our reflection and
Trick us into recreating itself again and again
A place where we are not afraid to feel love

A place where our own true nature is revealed and its expression called sacred
And intimacy is found in all shapes and sizes

Desire is the friend of the will that speaks for the soul
A place of no tomorrow or yesterday
The present
The keyhole to eternity
The endless gift


I am the tiger lilies in the jar
The star gazer whose scents beguile
The bridge
And its crossing

I am the vice that crushed your skull
with the weight of the dead
The wounds which coloured the air around you
The fires that parched your womb until she lay charcoal and inert
The hands that squeezed the knife against your throat to pierce the
Screams which never sounded

The agonies and its relief

I am the low down voice singing the blues
The rhythm in the room that rocked like a ship
The river

I am the path that brought you to the hands of others
To enter a harmonic sea
The dance of healers
The sorcerer’s intent
The source

I am the flight that traverses time and space
The thought which travels from mind to ear
A golden flow without attachment
The mirror, the hooks, the fear

I am the exquisite varying terrain beyond the veil
The jewelled colours
The place you could not see but still remembered
That filled your dream with longing
Whose distance lengthened from you with each step
An oasis which glimmered and flickered
A mirage
Always just out of reach
Beneath your feet

I am the secret name you called for
The purpose and the path reconciled
That which is revealed and that which is hidden
The treasure hunt

I am the promise
And you are the beginning.

Once again

With a difference

You have wings

What do you think?

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